Real Self-Care

Real Self-Care

Hey Queens! Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Captivation Radio. I’ve been debating on what I wanted to talk about this week and then my mom sent me a post about what self-care really is and I was like yes! This is exactly what I need to talk about.

Self-Care is Not Always Glamorous

I know everywhere you look on social media people are talking about getting mani pedis, bubble baths with wine, and shopping for luxury items as forms of self-care. Don’t get me wrong. These can definitely be part of a self-care routine. However, most self-care, the real stuff, the stuff that helps you live a life you love is not going to be the sparkly stuff.

What is real self-care?

Real self-care is creating a life that you do not need a break from, a life that doesn’t lead you to burn out, a life that you can enjoy every day – even on the hard days. To create a life like this takes some work. Let’s get into what this work looks like.

·       Creating a budget-So much of self-care that is talked about these days involves spending money. Spending money can definitely lift you up when you have a bad day. (it is my number one vice). However, if you spend beyond your means and have to struggle for the next two weeks, is that more helpful or hurtful? One of the best things I ever did for my well-being was create a budget and pay everything early. The earlier I can get ahead the less I stress about money and the more I can focus on other things. It also helps you save money when you knock down your principal and save on interest. Sometimes we have to evaluate where we spend our money so we can spend it somewhere that would bring us more joy. Do you need 10 different streaming services and cable? Or could you cut something out and instead use that money for a date night or vacation? Little changes like this don’t cause you to feel like you lost anything and they eventually bring you more joy.

·       Creating a routine: People get so annoyed when I tell them a routine is a necessary part of life. I am going to keep saying it though. You must have a routine. This is how your mind knows what to do from day to day. This is how you can accomplish everything without forgetting the most important things. This is also how you can see how much time you really have and stop spreading yourself too thin. If you know what tasks need to be completed every week, when someone asks if you can bake 100 cookies for the bake sale, instead of just saying yes, you can take a second to think over your plan for the week and determine if you can fit in another task or not. You can also make sure you are including time for your wellness, which is our next category.

·       Creating a wellness plan. Everyone needs to take care of their health. This is not about being a certain size or looking a certain way. It is a fact that everyone needs to move their body every day. Doing weight bearing exercises helps your bones grow stronger and fight diseases like osteoporosis. Exercising helps build your immune system and we all know we need that right now more than ever! Eating healthy also helps you fight disease and live a longer healthier life.

·       Take care of your mental health. Meditate. Write in your journal. Read personal development books. Go to therapy. Hire a coach. Do whatever you need to do to care for your mental health. Your mental health affects every part of your life. If you neglect it your entire life will suffer.

·       Evaluate where you can do better. In order to grow we have to constantly take stock of our lives and adjust where necessary. This can be really hard to do. No one wants to look at themselves and say oh I really could have done better, but we cannot grow if we don’t do this tough work. We need to look at where we can be a better, kinder person, where we can use more focus, what things need less of our attention. I regularly evaluate what I am doing well and what work I need to do and then adjust accordingly.

·       Set boundaries. Setting boundaries doesn’t have to mean keeping people away from you. It simply means letting people know what behavior you will and will not accept. Here is an example: I love to be available for my clients, but it is impossible to be available 24/7. I tell them from the beginning what my available hours are, and I give them permission to message outside of these hours with the understanding that I may or may not be available. If I am at dinner with my husband, then I’m not going to answer. If I am watching tv, then I will answer. Having this agreement from the beginning makes everyone’s expectations understood. I know there are times that clients need to message as the thoughts come up. Sometimes waiting makes you forget. Setting this boundary helps them understand what to expect from me as well, so if they don’t get a response after hours, they don’t feel neglected. The same thing applies for dealing with family and friends. Give people clear expectations of what they can expect from you.

·       Learn how to communicate. Clear communication makes life so much easier. When we refuse to communicate our feelings, wants, needs, etc it makes relationships extremely strained. If you hold everything in, then you will eventually blow up or become resentful. Instead, learn how to communicate appropriately as emotions arise.

·       Have some fun. Do things you like to do. For me I love editing photos. It is super relaxing. When I am stressed out with the world, I will spend hours playing around editing photos. It doesn’t cost me anything, but it brings me joy. Little things like this are great for self-care.

I would love to hear what self-care means to you. Send me a message!

 In Love & Abundance,

Falon ~ Queen of Captivation