Shadow Work
Shadow work
Shadow Work
Hey Queens! As promised this week we are diving into shadow work. If you listen to this episode and want to start shadow work with a group of supportive womxn, please join us in the Captivation Queen Mini Mind! This group will run for 4 weeks, each day there will be a journal prompt coupled with a tarot card pull and a group discussion. I will be available to help coach you through the prompts every day. The group is only $150 and there is a $50 discount for podcast listeners. The code is SHADOW. There are also payment plans available for those who need them. The paid in full and payment plan links will be in the show notes.
Shadow work comes from the term “the shadow self,” which was coined by famed 20th-century psychologist Carl Jung. In Jungian psychology, this term describes the unconscious parts of the personality that our conscious ego doesn’t want to identify in itself. “Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is,” Jung wrote.
Exploring your shadow helps you become more in touch with your authentic self, increases creativity, and helps you mature.
The shadow is often considered the dark side of our personalities because it consists of greed, envy, anger, selfishness, and desire for power. We can also hide positive aspects of ourselves but today we are going to focus on our dark side. Everything we deny or try to hide in ourselves becomes part of the shadow. We all choose how we want to be perceived, whether consciously or unconsciously, and this dictates which part of ourselves we accept.
However, disowning certain parts of ourselves doesn’t make them go away. They are still there often just below the surface.
How does the shadow begin?
When we are children we have no idea some emotions are good and others are bad. We freely exhibit whatever we are feeling at the time. Think about how children have no qualms about laying down on the floor screaming at the top of their lungs. They have not learned to hide these feelings yet. Over time adults reprimand and punish children for emotions that are not acceptable. This can be having a tantrum, being too loud, or being too goofy.
All of the characteristics that we are taught make us too much or in some way unacceptable as we grow up become part of our shadow. This generally takes place in the first 20 years of our lives.
This repression of unwanted parts creates what psychologist Carl Jung called the personal shadow.
As Jung writes in Psychology and Alchemy:
“There is no light without shadow and no psychic wholeness without imperfection.”
What happens if you ignore your shadow?
Any part of us that we disown eventually turns against us. These are the times when we do things we wouldn’t do and say things we wouldn’t normally say. It is like your subconscious takes control.
Ignoring our shadow can cause harm to our relationships and even our businesses and leadership abilities.
What are the benefits of shadow work?
Your relationships improve. As you come to accept your shadow you become more grounded and whole. This makes it easier to accept others and causes you to get less triggered by other people’s behavior. It also makes it easier to communicate because you can often see what is going on below the surface in others even when they cannot.
You become more self-aware. As you integrate your shadow and become more whole you are growing into your authentic self. This helps you stop playing small or having an inflated sense of self. This allows you to evaluate situations and people with greater clarity and compassion.
You will have increased energy. Suppressing parts of yourself, even unconsciously, is exhausting. By integrating your shadow you free up a lot of energy. You can also see pain relief because suppressed emotions also manifest as physical symptoms.
You will have increased creativity. The fully integrated person is able to be incredibly creative because they are not actively suppressing parts of themselves.
How do I start shadow work?
Create a calm space. Practice self-compassion. You must be able to meet the suppressed parts of yourself with friendliness and compassion. You need to come from a place of nonjudgment. All negative feelings can be transmuted into neutral or positive feelings.
Practice self-reflection. This means reflecting and observing our behaviors, thoughts and feelings. I like to do this through journaling and through the combination of tarot and journaling. If you have a tendency to look past certain behaviors, bringing in your tarot cards will ensure you cannot bypass anything. It is also helpful to ask yourself why you reacted a certain way to a situation and how you would want to react in the future. Keep track of these revelations through journaling or other methods that work for you.
Be honest. Shadow work will not work if you are not brutally honest with yourself and this is not always easy. No one wants to admit that they are sometimes selfish, impatient, bossy, or insecure. It takes courage to meet these parts of yourself with love and compassion. But the rewards are worth it. This is how you unlock your potential.
Shadow work is an ongoing process. It isn’t something you finish in moments, but it also is not something that will take years to see a change. You will see progress as you go as long as you make it a priority to pay attention to your thoughts and reactions. As you become aware of the hidden parts of yourself you can heal and integrate these parts into your conscious.
As you progress through the process of integrating your shadow you will stop playing small, you will start standing in your power and showing up as your authentic self. No matter what you choose to do in your life it will be easier when you are no longer hiding parts of yourself.
In Love & Abundance,
Falon ~ Queen of Captivation